SD - XXVIII
A letter to an old friend, continuing a ritual I started 2 years ago...
_________________________________________________________________
Hey Adi
I know it’s been long since I last wrote to you. Lot has changed since then. It seems like the cycle which started back then is now coming to an end. I am different person. And hopefully I am a better person now. I have found some direction as to what I am to do with my life. Yet, I search for answers. Answers to who I am? Answers to who I want to be with? I told you not so long ago, that I am broken and that I am starting from scratch. Well, Adi, I have somehow rebuilt a part of me, a part of my life. Yet, there is this sense of being incomplete. In one of my earlier mails I wrote to you about the difference between being alone and being lonely. I somehow feel lonely, Adi. I know it’s not time yet. I know that love shall come to me when I let go of this craving I have for it. It’ll come to me Adi, I know I just need to be patient. Yet, like I have told you so many times before, it’s tough. It’s tougher now that I am always, well almost always, honest with myself.
And it’s not just about one guy Adi. It’s about everyone in my life. This time around it’s about all the people in my life. And it’s about relationships. It’s about me trying to find that balance between being alone and being in company. It’s about me learning to give others space and not cling on to them. It’s about me learning to deal with my insecurities. Yes, I am insecure now, because I have found people I love and I know I want to share my life with. And I am so scared of losing them, Adi. I am just so scared and insecure.
I know this to shall pass. I know that this is a part of life’s learning. But Adi, I hate it when pain is the teacher. I hate it when suffering is the teacher. I hate it when hurt is a part of the learning.
I just re-read everything that I ever wrote. And every word that I wrote gives me strength. The words speak of some challenge I faced, some fear I conquered, some new lesson I learnt in life. And I once again find it in me, to surpass the pain, the suffering, the fear, the hurt, the insecurity and reach the learning.
__________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
Hey Adi
I know it’s been long since I last wrote to you. Lot has changed since then. It seems like the cycle which started back then is now coming to an end. I am different person. And hopefully I am a better person now. I have found some direction as to what I am to do with my life. Yet, I search for answers. Answers to who I am? Answers to who I want to be with? I told you not so long ago, that I am broken and that I am starting from scratch. Well, Adi, I have somehow rebuilt a part of me, a part of my life. Yet, there is this sense of being incomplete. In one of my earlier mails I wrote to you about the difference between being alone and being lonely. I somehow feel lonely, Adi. I know it’s not time yet. I know that love shall come to me when I let go of this craving I have for it. It’ll come to me Adi, I know I just need to be patient. Yet, like I have told you so many times before, it’s tough. It’s tougher now that I am always, well almost always, honest with myself.
And it’s not just about one guy Adi. It’s about everyone in my life. This time around it’s about all the people in my life. And it’s about relationships. It’s about me trying to find that balance between being alone and being in company. It’s about me learning to give others space and not cling on to them. It’s about me learning to deal with my insecurities. Yes, I am insecure now, because I have found people I love and I know I want to share my life with. And I am so scared of losing them, Adi. I am just so scared and insecure.
I know this to shall pass. I know that this is a part of life’s learning. But Adi, I hate it when pain is the teacher. I hate it when suffering is the teacher. I hate it when hurt is a part of the learning.
I just re-read everything that I ever wrote. And every word that I wrote gives me strength. The words speak of some challenge I faced, some fear I conquered, some new lesson I learnt in life. And I once again find it in me, to surpass the pain, the suffering, the fear, the hurt, the insecurity and reach the learning.
__________________________________________________________________
posted by Labelled This And That at 11:03 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home